1 Corinthians 1:30&31, "It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God - that is, our righteousness, holiness, and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: Let him who boasts boast in the Lord".
I read this during RA Training quiet time this year. What I pulled from it is this: The world praises talent, what humans consider intelligence, money, outward beauty, busyness/productivity, and stuff, but I want to boast in Jesus and what He's done for me. I want to boast in relationships and joy and heavenly wisdom and learning and simplicity. I want to boast in love.
Life's focus has been Beck, my RA's, Jeremy and work (in no particular order). J and I had a rare few hours, just the two of us, last night while B sweetly slept in the next room. We talked a lot about balance (we talk about that a lot), and something I fight for is not being typical. I don't want to work and work and work and forget about what matters. I want clarity in what's important. I want a husband that's present and that has moments with his son that make his heart want to burst with love and pride. I want to not care about things over people and I want to love Jesus so much that I can't help but pour out his blessings on those around me.
Example: I kept Beck up late last night so Jeremy could see him after work and help with the bedtime routine. Jeremy was so excited when he got home. I continued working on dinner and Jeremy started filling the bath up for Beck. Before I knew it - it was 20 minutes later - and all I heard were belly laughs coming from the bathroom. I poked my head in and saw Jeremy; not bathing Beck, but physically in the tub with him. Jeremy was blowing bubbles under the water and Beck was laughing so hard he couldn't keep his head from falling back. JOY. A moment that was so brief and so pure and so simple. I couldn't help but think, "What if we missed that?"
It's a fight though, isn't it? To find balance in work, in relationships, in rest, in want, in selfishness, in growth? We need to work. We need to be in relationship with God and people. We need to rest. We need to want and desire. We need self care. We need to grow. The crazy thing is...I'll think I've got it too. I'll think, "Dang, Tara...you've really got it this time." And then it catches me off guard. IT being an unexpected experience or thing that someone says or does that so easily throws everything off. Those are the times I want to boast in Jesus and not in what I've done. My life is so fragile. I'm so fragile, but Jesus isn't and Jesus in my life isn't. He gives me strength to fight and to continue to fight for balance. To fight for my marriage and to not give in to working for money or being too exhausted to care for and/or about one another. To fight for my son and his walk and growth and experiences. To trust that Jeremy and I's hearts will grow in the same direction and know where we are supposed to raise our family. To know that I'm good at my job and I'm great at living life with my RA's and helping them along their journey to finding joy in their individuality.
I'm currently obsessed with a song by Phillip Phillips called "Home". When I feel like satan is telling me that the fight isn't worth it or that Jeremy and I won't figure out our differences or when satan uses people around me to tear me down...I picture God saying, "I'm your home and I'm where you are and I'm your strength and your wisdom and I want good things for you". So, when I'm weak...I will boast in Him.
Lyrics to "Home" by Phillip Phillips:
Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home
Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home
Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home
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