hold us to it

it's good to love spending time with the person you married, but not when you have to be away from each other. with divorce at an all time high (60% of Christian marriages are failing). people are more unfaithful, more shallow, and more selfish than ever. it's time to put into words what it means to be twenty seven and really (i mean really) in love with the person i chose to spend my life with.
does everyone start their marriage feeling like this about their love? they say it. marriage vows are not grey. they are black and white. "until death do us part" isn't exactly negotiable.
i believe that what jeremy and i started with is a good foundation. we have a long line of family with a really high marriage success rate. i am not naive enough to think that it's because they all found their soul mates. i think it took a lot of hard work, stubborn faith, and some head to head battles with satan. loyalty over selfishness. vow over giving up.
secondly, i know that we did the right thing by waiting to have sex until we were married. it is unfathomable to me that people throw this precious gift away. Sex = Marriage. God only created it for marriage. sex outside of marriage is still marriage...it's just not blessed. every time someone has sex with someone that they aren't married to - it's like unfulfilled selfishness that ends in divorce. we are not perfect. we've never been perfect. we'll never be perfect. i kicked statistics in the behind the day that i married jeremy...and have reaped the benefits of waiting. ask jeremy.
third, we talk. we talk and talk and talk. even when jeremy's watching sports...he'll put the tv on mute to ask me about my day. he's actually a better communicator than i am. he cares about the little things, he notices everything, he's a team player...and i am SO thankful for him. he has this amazing way of being able to be the ring leader with his guy friends, but can turn around and dress to the 9's, does his hair just right, puts on that cologne i love so much, and woes me until "i melt like a popsicle on the fourth of july" (quote from little rascals). he likes to compliment me, he breathes love and respect for me, he's passionate about making sure that we aren't in that frickin' 60%.
lastly, we fight. i know this might sound odd, but i grew up in a family where one parent needed to get their feelings out and the other liked to sleep it off. neither is wrong...just wrong when matched together. you can't yell at someone while they are sleeping. you know what i'm saying, mom :) i did not know how to argue with jeremy when we first got married. i'm not kidding. he would argue me into a corner and i would ball up and not say anything. i think a part of it was that i associated fighting with dysfunction, but it's doesn't have to be. fighting (when you pick your battles wisely) is a healthy way to make progress. i told jeremy that he's made a monster out of me. i can fight back now. we can get really loud. we never lay a hand on each other, but we are trying to make progress. i'm learning what it means to be jeremy's perfect match...and part of that means i need to communicate my anger. i've found confidence in feeling like i've gotten my point across. it's not about who wins or loses...it's about moving forward together.
hold us to this. my prayer is that the people in my life will (graciously) remind jeremy and i how we are now. passionate about one another. compassionate about each other's feelings. patiently in love. sacrificial in each other's differences. there's going to be times when i don't like this man that i've picked. i'm not looking forward to smelling like poopy diapers, gaining weight, and feeling like i'm not in my twenties, sexy, and free to do "whatever", but i'm looking forward to doing it all with him. remind us that it's a journey. that God wants us to be together. that we're truly right for each other. that we have found a great love in each other. i'm holding you to it.
lots of love
Tar