The Car Wash of Grace.

I washed my car the other day and it looked so nice! It's black so every little dust speck shows. I didn't have quarters to vacuum the inside (which has quite a few crumbs and a few thousand beagle hairs) so it was only half way clean, but what really got me was how many bug splatters and bird shmoops were present shortly afterwards! I thought to myself, "Was it even worth washing? Now I have to vacuum, dust, and clean it!" There are also dents from Jeremy chopping at a thick layer of ice from last winter so it looks like there's hail damage and a big crack in the windshield from a road trip I took with Crista years ago.
This all lead me to think about grace. "Why?", you ask. Well, friend, it's because I feel like my car sometimes. I'll have time with the Lord and feel shiny, new and inspired but it doesn't take long for me to feel speckled with things of this world. Some seemingly small like, "I'm frustrated with so and so today" or "I'm feeling sorry for myself for something that doesn't really merit pity today", but other thoughts are more destructive like, "I don't have time to spend with Jesus today" or "I'm not doing enough. I'm not good enough at my job. I'm not smart enough. I'm not a good friend, spouse, daughter, mother, etc..." or "ME ME ME ME ME".
I have found when I reach to the world to satisfy or am allowing the negativity around me to bring my spirit low or I'm not trusting Jesus with my future...all that satisfies is a conversation to or about Jesus Christ. That's it. The only way to bring my soul back to a place of peace is to spend time with the Lord or talk with people who know him. This life is a crazy, confusing, wonderful gift from Jesus and it's a wild ride to figure out what to do with it. Decisions and questions like, "Who do I want to be when I am faced with temptation? Who do I want to marry? What friends do I want to surround myself with? What kind of parent do I want to be? What words do I want to flow from my mouth? Am I the kind of person that can be positive when life is hard? What kind of fun does Jesus like and am I seeking that? Who do I put my trust in? When all else fails...am I seeking hope? Can I keep my mouth shut when gossip is being slung all around me and boiling up inside of me? Am I confident; not because of what I feel like is on the outside but because of who Christ is in me? Am I encouraging others to find Jesus with the way I'm choosing to live my daily life?" All of these thoughts lead me back to how I feel like my car sometimes, because whether we are rocking a little bird poop on our exteriors (like a bad attitude for an afternoon or not being kind when there's an opportunity to be so) or if we have a full on crack in our windshields (like a hang up about someone we've held on to for years or a deep seeded addiction sin that erodes our hearts daily) - there's grace. There's always grace. Romans 5 says, "But where sin increased, grace increased ALL THE MORE, so that grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord". This doesn't mean go out and sin because grace will cover you, but it does mean that when we feel like a dirty car (in our exteriors and interiors) we must seek the Lord and try our best to turn from our sin and grace will succeed.
The truth is, I remember being really thankful for Jeremy when he was chopping the ice off my car so I could run errands in the huge ice storm we had last winter and the crack in my windshield brings back fond memories of the sister's road trip Crista and I took the summer before she came to college. You know what? I think Jesus sees us like that. The dings, scratches, and cracks we've accumulated have led us to now and they are a part of our story and some of them were necessary to bring us closer to His heart, but some are just bird poop (which I believe is unnecessary always). God doesn't supply us with the heartaches and accidents, but he does bring us back to what is good.
And in 1 Peter 2 the Bible says, "Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover up for evil; live as servants of God. Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the King". I want to honor him with all that I do but I know that I won't...I will most likely go get a few bugs on the windshield of my spirit when I am done typing this, but PRAISE JESUS for the opportunity of the car wash of grace that is present all around us and it's FREE!. Aren't you thankful that there's nothing we can do to make him decide that we're not worth washing again? What a mighty, steadfast Savior we seek!