conviction over guilt

manipulating people with guilt is used [in our culture] on a regular basis. this is not a post directed at anyone in particular and nothing specific has happened to me recently - i am merely speaking from my life's experience. i have had a life long personal struggle understanding this social habit. i believe there are more productive and loving ways to ask people to do things for you and/or to challenge them to change a behavior.
i have come to the conclusion that guilt is counterproductive and sinful. Satan is a master at distracting us from living into our strengths and guilt most often times cripples us from purpose. think of the last time someone used subtle guilt to get you to do something. i bet it's happened recently. my personality (as i am a self proclaimed stubborn mule) rejects when anyone tries to motivate me with guilt-faster than almost any other way anyone could try to motivate me.
there is a difference between feeling guilty and listening to your conscience. if you are feeling convicted about something - and you are following the Lord's will for your life...it means you should repent & reject it. my God never uses guilt. he lovingly convicts people and gives them the tools to change their lifestyle. he does this to me all the time.
i come from a conservative, Dutch, midwest family (and i wouldn't have it any other way), but something that comes along with this culture - is the motivational tool of guilt. we use it in the sneakiest ways. in tone of voice, in tears, in anger, in not saying what you really want to say, in gossiping about it to other people and hoping they'll agree with us and try to also motivate you through making you feel guilty. it's a sick cycle, and i want to actively fight my innate ability to do this. i've almost rejected this behavior to the point that i say things so honestly that i hurt people's feelings. i am trying to make sure to say things out of love and not anger. i've learned that it's just as hurtful to say spiteful things as it is to motivate people with guilt.
the good news is that there are alternative ways to motivate people: encouragement, being an example of the type of behavior you'd like them to emulate, prayer (we all know God has a better way of doing things than we do), and love (it honestly never fails). i am going to try to love and motivate you in these ways and i hope that you'll try to do the same for me.
t*