"He has loved you since you've breathed...really what more do you need?"

"Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world." -Sarah BanBreathnach

I sent Jeremy an email one of the first days I was in Jamaica and it said this, "I ache for Beck. For his smell and his little smacking lips when he eats and his eyes locked on mine. How is everything at home? I hope you are being loved on and don't feel too overwhelmed. I know I'm supposed to be here but it is hard to be away from you."
...to which Jeremy responded:
"FdsfhYyhat. Hey love, that is a message from your son...he typed it himself. Great to hear from you. We are doing great here! Seriously, you had everything so well planned that this week is going by super fast. Beck has been so happy and done awesome for everyone that's watched him so far. He's eating a ton and playing his little heart out. I hope news of us doing well allows you to be able to focus on your time there. I believe God could make it a life changing experience for you if you let him. I pray you get time to relax and invest in students too. Your boys miss you a ton and would never choose to do a week without mommyo if we didn't believe it was for a good cause."

After Jeremy's response, I felt released from the guilt of leaving behind the things I love most. Peace quietly told me that everything was ok, even more than ok, back home and I needed to be present and grateful for the opportunity I was given.
Jamaica was a gift. There were three leaders and 17 students. Everyone served with open hearts and hands. God used each individual according to the specific gifts he's equiped them with. We had very different personalities and each one was used for the variety of needs of the children and projects at The Nest.
I feel compelled to write specifically to my sweet teammates who feel like they left a piece of their hearts in Jamaica. Allow yourselves to be changed because of what He taught you while you were there. God is so big. He's faithful to those children and he will be faithful to you here. He's not limited to only moving in the lives of His children by if we are there or not. It blew my mind to realize as I was bathing the babies in Jamaica that He was there with me just as he was with Jeremy bathing Beck at home. Be encouraged. We left a little more joy, a little more love, a little less work to be done, a little more peace...
you left Robin's Nest better than when you came.
Don't allow evil to hold you back from using what you were taught. Be present and continue to let God move his love through you here. Be a little more patient. Speak words of life into those around you. Compliment a stranger. Make a new friend. Continue to build on the relationships you made while you were there. Don't allow your weaknesses to define you, but allow the Life spoken to your heart in Jamaica change how you do life here. Care a little less about yourself. Laugh harder. Dance. Take time to marvel at the beauty around you. You can continue the work he started in you there, here. I promise.
It was an honor to work with you. To grow with you. To be greasy with you. To dance my face off with you.

There was a boy who found me within minutes of arriving at The Nest and stayed by me most of the week. He asked me every day "Do you remember me? What is my name? Me know your name is Tara". He was naughty and wonderful and I got to play a song for him on our last day together. Beck's godparents actually played this song for his baptism and it continues to have significance in my life:

Kate Hurley "You Are Not Alone"

Sometimes you get so weary

That you run to forget

Keep yourself so busy

Anything to cover up that

Sometimes life just don’t make sense

And the reason for your running

Is a longing to be known

By someone who says

Your life is worth it

Someone captured by your heart

Someone you gave up on long ago


You are not alone-you are not alone

His love is all around and

He holds you even now

You are not alone


He will not leave you orphaned

That's a promise He has made

When others leave you empty

And the world has left you broken

Still He will not walk away

So come and lay down

All your questions

Lay down your striving to be free

He has loved you since you've breathed and

He will love you for forever

Really what more do you need